Not So Good Day

Started out with my parents barging inside my room at 10:30 am or so and tacklong me with bear hugs and plans or lack thereof.

Today was my cousin’s 18th birthday party and I was supposed to host it with its kyeme 18 roses and 18 candles and all that coming of age as a lady type of thing here in my country. For the most part, I was excited to get to host again, even if I as thinking of spicing it up as acting my “bakla” self.

Halfway through the day or after eating brunch, it was still raining hard and it was cold (for a tropical country, it is definitely cold during typhoon season), and all I wanted to do was chill with my family on a Saturday and watch a mlvie or something, the anxiety of facing people that I don’t know, stepping out into the “dish” (does dish mean world?) and being a host. It was kind of too much for my emotions at that time, but I had to suck it up.

I was ready before I even wanted to get ready, I talked my through doing my make-up concentrating on not impaling myself while I put on eyeliner; went out of my room to find out that nobody was even ready.

The drive to the party was at first okay with 90s music playing on the radio and raindrops on the windshield, and a nap. Then when we reached EDSA going to taft, we stayed there for about half an hour waiting for the cars to move because there was a traffic enforcer when there was perfectly worling traffic light, my dad and I actually got pissed to the point that he was going in and out of the car to see what type of moron was doing the enforcing and I, the forever tech savvy person thag I was, tool to twitter my pissed-off ness and tweeted MMDA.

Anyway, we got there before the party started. The debutante wasn’t dressed yet, there were already some friends but the program will not start unless the people are all there. I did not feel any nervousness or anxiousness leading up to the hosting bit of the party. Honestly, I was my slightly over the top, confident self when they started singing on the karaoke and I was dancing inside the house but when other people came and noise started to build up; the good thing was I did not run away from my promise to my cousin but I lost control.

I think at that moment when I was losing control with being too confident, talking to my cousin’s friends and joining in on the noise instead of me usually trying to calm them down, I did not notice it. But after awhile when things calmed down, I told my mom, “I’m over doing it.” Same thing I told my dad and they both agreed that it waa not the normal me.

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