Or just to not let me feel sleepy.
Coffee wasn’t that for me today. Aside from the fact that I wasn’t even supposed to drink coffee and I have told myself that a million times before I turned on our coffee maker. Damn stubborness!
Today was a fairly productive day albeit the fact that I started doing shit at almost 4 in the afternoon. Lounged around the house watching TV and lurking on the interwebs doing nothing and earning nothing. I’m still thinking of ways as to how I can earn money just from tweeting shit updates about a band that has still no plans in going to my country even for the fact that we are the second biggest fanbase in the entire world. Get your heads out of your asses 5SOS. Anyway, told my mom that I might be able to earn money while tweeting, let me just figure that out later on or something.
What did I do today? 1) Swept the downstairs floor, 2) cleaned the table, 3) washed the dishes from lunch, 4) finish Module Tests 2&3, and 5) cooled dinner.
Fuck anxiety and my tremoring hands, I chopped vegetables tonight and cooked amazing shit, although ingredients were scarce I cooked our food. Coffee gave me tremors and made me jumpy like a freaking frog (I hate frogs), so now my coffee clean days are back to 0.
Today, I also learned that I can focus on my studies when motivated enough. Mother dear made a deal with me that if I finish 3 more subjects before they leave, I can get 3 things from the 5SOS store in Japan. So motivation still works although it’s still a fickle thing for my being.
I finished 2 grueling papers today about application letters and it gave me so much anxiety it took me 3 hours to finish both of them plus my updated resume. Everything that has something to do about thinking of the future makes me want to gag and tumble down a cliff for awhile and go to the nearest dunkin’ donuts.
Also, been watching alot of Game of Thrones this week sincd it’s my family’s way of bonding and for the 2nd time, I watched Fast and The Furious 7 and I still have a massive crush on Paul Walker who is now dead. I got teary-eyed the first time I watched the movie and remembered my grandmother because of the song by Charlie Puth and Wiz and on the second time, I thought about my friendships with people who came and went, unfortunately those people are not dead BECAUSE I DON’T WISH DEATH UPON THEM
only to some, I really value friendship as much as how family means to me.
Been knocking anti-anxiety meds this week to help me sleep and so far it’s been knocking me out like LL CoolJ as a boxer but still the sleep starts at 2 or 3 in the morning. Like now, it’s nearly 3 and my eyes are starting to droop and fall. So that’s the update on my exciting life! Bye!
I might have put in 5SOS references so if you are a 5SOSfan holler. Lol