I don’t really follow the days for prompts, but lately I haven’t had a little fiction or non-fiction stories with sense on this blog.
For the sake of my sanity or lack thereof, I’m diving in to my glorious and hideous past of songs that remind me of a time that should be forgotten or just laughed at.
Should I go with How Did You Know by someone who I forgot because it takes me back to fifth grade when I was a quirky little girl who had a massive crush on a boy who sang this song in an audition? Not going there.
Should I go with Just So You Know by Jesse McCartney, the time of my junior year in high school when I was pining for a guy who would never notice me? Fun fact: after two years, he did notice me but I didn’t like him anymore but I’m not going into that sappy story.
I’m going with the tale of Therapy by All Time Low featuring Weightless by All Time Low.
The year was maybe late 2013 or earlt 2014 and I’m on the verge of contemplating if my life is really going to be fine and good after being diagnosed with depression and anxiety or am I doomed to the despair and panic attacks that have been haunting me?
It was if I remember correctly, a weekday afternoon and my best friend and I were sitting side by side trying to watch the sunset and talking about my situation with the bitchy whores who backstabbed me to depression and then some.
“What are some good songs in here?” I asked reaching for his phone and scrolling through his music player.
I played Catastrophe by Forever The Sickest Kids and laughed.
“Remember in high school when you’re Hannah, sent me the link to this song to send to you?” I laughed even more just casually dodging the topic of my sanity.
“Shut up. I have a song for you.” He said snatching his phone away from my hands.
“There listen to that!” A slow song started playing and there were words like travesty, but I’m smiling at everything, you were never a friend to me.
I think I wanted to cry then but my tears wouldn’t allow me too.
After that I listened to that song everyday on repeat because I really felt the weight of the song and how it felt like to be alone and worthless and not even worth shit in life.
Weightless was another song that was played by my best friend for me, the first line of that song was Manage me, I’m a mess. Turn a page, I’m a book, half-unread. I think every person is a book half-unread and should be read delicately as you don’t know what it is they are going through and the story is just unfolding infront of you.