I’ve been reading about the spoon theory turned spork theory for mental illness for about and hour now and I wanted to write something about how much I never took into consideration to plan the use of my sporks in the entireity(did I spell that right?) of the years I’ve been positive for the depression and anxiety.
I actually have no idea nowadays whether it’s the anxiety or depression nagging and stabbing me, maybe a little bit of both since I’m basically with -10 sporks for about this moment, lieing on my bed, head throbbing, and feeling cold but if I turn off the fan it’d be hotter than hell.
Anyway back to throwing away my sporks. So, I realized that much to my energy and good vibes these past months, I have been cashing in on my supply of sporks since April so naturally, my supply is already dead and gone by July. Way to go you!
I’m this ball of energy and negative sunshine(cheerful pessimist) on a good day and I never stopped and think about my sporks, granted that I’ve read that “spoon theory” but completely forgot about it when I went and got that internship.
So now what? I wallow on twitter and rant here? YES! That’s exactly what I have been doing. Haven’t moved from my bed since 9pm after eating dinner and I really want to sleep now but my brain doesn’t want me to. I’ve been a useless piece of shit for the past week:
College Home-school: still have 2 modules and a shit load of papers to write
Chores: couldn’t be bothered to touch any shit in my house but I still grabbed my – sporks and dragged my ass to do the dishes and place dinner for me and my brother.
Health: going away, been basically starving myself because I can’t be bothered to eat anything nutritious other than the Biscoff biscuits that I hide or Butter Coconut biscuits. I still eat dinner though.