The Battle I Almost Lose To Every Morning

When you have depression and an anxiety disorder like I do, I think one of the worst things that we go through every single day is to get off of the bed and start the day.

Like other people, everyone has the quote, “you are my easiest hello and my worst goodbye” said to respective beds every single time people wake up but then they have little to no consideration of what troubles they’ll have throughout the day, unlike me who stares up at my bedroom ceiling wishing that I can stay just for one more hour, or a whole day even just in bed not wanting to face my life and the reality that the world goes on even if I stop going on.

I’ve had this dillema since I was in high school, and now I’m twenty-one and this had intensified to asking so may what-if questions, imagined worst case scenarios of unexpected anxiety attacks, breakdowns and whatnot.

I push myself hard each day just to get up and get ready for whatever’s coming my way but sometimes every little detail overwhelms me to the point of not being able to do anything at all.

I know this post would not help anyone and it will just bring people down but part of my own therapy is writing down what I feel at certain times and this one is one of my major struggles in the past two years.


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