It’s just really part one o’clock in the morning and I thought it would be fun to write aomething about sarcasm. I mean, it’s just that I really couldn’t sleep and I’ve been thinking a lot about school and how my anxiety has been acting up real bad in the first two months of the year is really just crazy.
Okay, so why am I sarcastic? The answer to that question is because it’s fun, it’s fun to say things that most people will think are rude or undermining the other but with the personality I have, sarcasm is my way to say that I am who I am and you don’t have to like it.
It is my way to cope with everything that has been happening in my life lately, I haven’t written a decent story for the past six months, “that’s because all you can think of for the past six months is the anxiety that will kill you when you go back to school!” my brain screams and there are times when I make fun of myself with having the anxiety attacks at super random times without the obvious triggers that I have, “what the hell were you going to accomplish while laying on your bed not wanting to go to class becauss you don’t even know why you’re afraid? What? Is somebody gonna shoot you? Are you gonna grow a big nose suddenly?”
Honestly, these are also questions I tell myself when I have my attacks, I don’t know why but the littlest of things set off my attacks, on my commute on the way to school, in class, walking down the street. These are normal daily routine stuff that I do but somehow my brain gets to me and all these sarcastic comments and atupid negativity get to me. I don’t really know how my sarcasm fit into my anxiety but somehow it does and if I’m not sassing myself about my illness I might just not make it.
It’s a aay to cope, it’s a way to release the anxiety but also sometimes, it’s a way to hurt people that I care about.
I really don’t know what I’m writing about anymore. I need a break from thinking.