No Christmas Spirit for My Spirit

Christmas cheer should be the thing that’s chirping in my ears instead of breaking glass and building walls to surround myself from what they call Christmas Spirit.

The cold envelopes me in big hugs and no one to cuddle with but my pillows and blankets.

Santas in their Santa suits asking children what they wish for this Christmas. If I were to sit down on his lap and whisper my wish it would be to be able to go one day without thinking of the ocean of negativity in my brain or to be able to get away from the big black dog following me around day in day out.

Christmas tree that I put up to make me smile for a fleeting moment before the star fell down and crushed my body, a 5-inch star that penetrated my chest and I didn’t even have the strength to take it out.

Christmas was once a time to be happy and cheerful with the family, not a time to hide under the covers and swim in my own morbid thoughts.


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