Here’s the thing, lately I have been spending countless hours in front of my laptop not writing but rather watching YouTube videos of other people talking and making stuff up and just being themselves and i actually toyed with the idea of doing it myself.
A few months ago, I decided to give it a try by telling myself out loud, “Hey, you can do that. How hard is it to talk to a camera and give opinions about whatever.” So that’s what I did. I went and got my dad’s video camera, attached it to the tripod and sat down infornt of that camera and talked about my fangirl story.
There are a few things that I noticed I that did when I did do the thing trying to be a “YouTuber”, 1) I seem to mumble stuff that has nothing to do with anything in that video, 2) English is not my native language hence the mumbling, and 3) I had very bad lighting.
I seem to think that I may interject something good in the community that is YouTube but I’m starting to think that maybe it’s not the medium for me to dive into. I mean, I want to get rich and famous by just making up games and being myself and doing make-up tutorials and maybe try and share some insightful thoughts and opinions to people around the world about my life but then again, I have six subscibers, a few hundred views and not enough creativity for making videos, plus I’m a lousy video editor.
I second guess myself a lot and I do think about what others think of me, a lot and maybe that’s what I’m worried about in joining this big community of pretty people who can express themselves easily through a camera lens and maybe that’s not me but I’m sure as hell not gonna stop trying though.
And maybe, this post is just a way to self-promote my channel.
But no, that’s not the reason I’m writing this, but I’m writing this because I’m throwing away all judgement about what I like to do and just write about something that has been bothering me for quite sometime because i feel like it’s jsut too silly to talk about let alone write about it on my own blog.