Death by Falling

Death by falling.

It would be so amazing to die of falling in love but this death is not about love, it is about loss.

Loss, in a sense that you just lost the ability to have emotions and the drive to go on.

I am Alice, who fell in the hole and discovered a new world, but instead of seeing possibilities and weird happiness, what I saw was darkness and negativity that swallowed me from head to toe.

Pushing away everything that was near and dear to me.

Pushing away every opportunity to be better.

That day, I didn’t lose anybody but myself.

Everybody dies. John Green said in The Fault In Our Stars that “the world is not a wish granting factory”

Indeed it is not because we choose the people we spend our lives with but we don’t choose the time that they get to leave us.

I always say that my brain left for vacation and took my personality with it.

Do I still lack that personality or am I just me?


2 thoughts on “Death by Falling

  1. I fell and lost. I lost a lot of things. Personality lies deep and is etched into your bones but sometimes is covered over by piled up debris of others who cast about upon you. It takes time to dig out or sweep it away. Sharing thoughts, imaginings, feelings all helps. Very well done. I would like to say I enjoyed it but there is a sadness one cannot enjoy, but I admire the quality and the honesty.
    Much Admiration
    Fellow 101 Participant

    • Thank you so much. I know that this certain sadness is something that nobody can enjoy but just putting it out there relieves the pain of what may or may not have happened in the past.

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