I’ve been wondering about “what ifs” and “maybes’
Wondering if they ever make sense or they just fuck me up more
Like the sun getting frisky with the moon
Or the stars being used as a metaphor for my sparkling eyes
I used to be happy and content with what I had
But seeing as how I manage to give myself crap over the littlest of things
Cry when I least expect it
Will I ever be whole again?
Or am I just going to be broken the whole time
But can manage to function like a normal person
I am not who I used to be
Tricking myself into hurting myself
Feeling guilty of the mistakes in the past that should be buried
I was never whole to begin with
I am just more broken now than I was when I was younger
What if I give myself a chance this time?
Maybe I can get back to being happy?
What if I do something out of the ordinary?
Maybe I can shock myself into being adventurous.
Telling me not to be scared is the understatement of the year
Because trick questions and guilt trips are my thing