I woke up in a haze, not knowing what to do now that you’re gone. I looked at the side of your bed and sighed, touching the cold sheets of your side makes a teardrop fall on to the mattress. The phone rang but I let the answering machine get it, I used to bug you so much to get rid of the land line so people can get to us through our phones but you insisted because you said you want to preserve that part of history when calling someone on their home phone was much valuable than having been called on your cell.
I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror, puffy eyes from crying, I stared at my appearance long enough to feel the sadness wash over me, I didn’t even change my clothes last night when I found out what happened. Tears were falling from my eyes and I just slumped down on the floor crying like a four year old that got pushed into the sandbox by the big bully.
“Why did this happen? You were my un-biological sister, you were there when nobody was there for me but I wasn’t there for you.”I told myself while in between sobs. “Why did you do it, Anne? I know you know that you can trust me, of all people why did you hide this from me? Why?” I tried to pry her hands away from her wrists to stop her from scratching and clawing at herself. “Leave me the fuck alone, Char! I don’t need any of you! When I was hurt, you acted like I wasn’t even there. I felt invisible, from my own friends! Some friend you are!” she screamed at me from across her room. She tried to kick me in the shins to get me to leave but I couldn’t control her anger.
I tried to remove the scenario from my mind. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and climbed to my bed, I went to her side of the bed where she usually sleeps when we had sleepovers which were every Friday night after school. I cried and I cried, I didn’t want the last picture I had of my best friend as a depressed, self-harming person. I want to remember her for her “go with the flow” motto in life and us making plans for our out of the country trips after graduation, but none of them will come true. I cried onto the Bugs Bunny pillow she gave me two Christmases ago, not even caring if I get snot on it. I cried until I fell asleep.
Upon waking up, I heard a little voice say, “You couldn’t have saved me from myself, Char. It was my decision. But don’t give up on your dreams. I love you, sister.” I opened my eyes then said to myself, “I am going to do all of our plans Anne; I won’t give up even if you have already given up on everything. I love you, sister.”
Prompt: The morning after she died. (Writers write) http://writers-write-creative-blog.posthaven.com/daily-writing-prompt-8Due7u